My Story

MY STORY

Going to work, day after day,

For 13 years my life was that way.

I made lots of cash, had so much fun,

Pretended that money was priority number one.

Had lots of friends, went out on dates,

Danced at the clubs, searching for mates.

He came to my door, a blind date once again,

We played pool and drank wine,

became more than friends.

Work became a chore,

I wondered if there was more,

Life seemed to be passing me by,

I needed something else to try.

A child, I thought, would make the discontent go away,

Would give me a focus, a reason to get through the day.

So I had a baby, and became a mom,

Should we name him Marvin, Boris or Tom?

The first few months were scary and long,

Tired and in pain, I still sang him songs.

I stayed home for awhile,

so I could watch him get big,

Take his first step, pick up his first twig.

Drink from a cup, say his first word,

Play with the hose, chase after a bird.

Then I got lonely, bored and depressed,

I felt really sad, like I needed a rest.

I felt like a failure at being a mother,

I wanted my freedom back,

not taking care of another.

How will I manage, maybe working part time,

But daycare costs money,

should I just make up rhymes?

What should I do to balance my life,

I want to do more than be a mother and a wife.

I want to be a famous actress,

be the best at something,

But my child comes first,

so will I become nothing?

Never a singer, a dancer, a designer or a star,

I’ll always just be here, just exactly who I are.

So maybe I’ll pretend, if only for one day,

That when I sing for Jason,

I’m auditioning for a Broadway play,

I’m acting like Demi Moore,

when I’m rolling around all over the floor,

And that to my little boy,

I’m the biggest star he’ll ever see,

His eyes and smile tell the story,

and that’s enough for me!

Lori , 6/96